Monday, September 16, 2013

Parenting Football Lingo

Moms are often stereotyped as being football-illiterate. First down? Red zone? Fullback? But in the spirit of the Fall and Football Season starting, here are 16 football terms that have double-meanings in the context of raising kids—meanings that endure well beyond an over-hyped three-hour period on an otherwise useful Sunday afternoon. They also come in handy as great comebacks when your husband thinks your not paying attention to his rambling about the recap on the game or how his fantasy football teams is doing!

#1) First Down!: Parental exclamation after the younger of two siblings goes to sleep.
#2) Running Back: What you do five minutes after you’ve left the house without ample pacifiers.
#3) Halftime: How to settle the issue of getting one free cookie but having two children on the verge of fighting over it.
#4) Good Field Position: A shady picnic spot in the park far from other children and dog poop.
#5) Red Zone: What keeps companies like Earth Mama Angel Baby and CJ's BUTTer in business.
#6) Offensive Line: “MOM, brother hit me!”
#7) Defensive Line: “But, But, she hit me first!”
#8) 30-Second Time-Out: When you run out of time to give a full one.
#9) Instant Replay: What happens when the first restaurant-menu tic-tac-toe game ends in a tie.
#10) Extra Point: The benefit of mechanical pencils over typical #2s.
#11) Pass Protection: In the minivan, when your child tells you the left lane is clear.#backseatdrivers
#12) Tight End: The part of a child’s sock that is hardest to put on.
#13) One-Hand Reception: When you hold a crying kid with one hand and take a call with the other.
#14) Flea-Flicker: The family dog, especially when lounging on your child’s bed.
#15) Turnover: The point at which one child’s allotted water-fountain period ends and another’s begins.
#16) Strong Safety: The moment at which a parent says “Hold my hand! We’re in a parking lot!”

Custom Football SoftBums Diaper - by Maddi's Designs

This article was adapted from the San Diego Family- Superbowl Lingo.

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1 comment:

  1. one-on-one defense: each parent takes one child; zone defense: one parent takes oldest and youngest and one parent takes middle kiddo